I type this post with all sorts of mixed feelings and I really don't know how to put in to words the decision that we have had to make and have it come across the way we mean it to come across but I am going to give it a try.
Today, after much thought and consideration, we decided to only proceed with Gabby's adoption and that we will not be adopting "Gavin" (the name we were going to give the little boy we were considering adopting). As I said before, this decision comes after much thought and consideration but also much more than that. Many tears were shed and many hours of sleep were lost! Being that we are not adopting "Gavin" I cannot get into great detail about his history because that information belongs to him and should not be shared with strangers. I will tell you though that he is considered special needs for reasons unlike gabby's special needs. He has some very different EMOTIONAL needs and will require "FULL TIME ATTENTION, LOVE & NUTURING...not to be shared amongst other small children!"
HE WILL BE A WONDERFUL ADDITION TO ANY FITTING FAMILY! However, at this time, it would not be fair to "Gavin," Gabby, or us to bring him home with us and not be able to meet both children's needs. Being that he will need so much emotional attention....we fear that Gabby would be left not having her needs met and vice versa...Gavin would not have his needs met if Gabby had the issues he had. TO BE VERY CLEAR....THERE ARE OTHER FAMILIES THAT OUR COORDINATORS HAVE IN MIND FOR HIM AS WE SPEAK. WE DO NOT EXPECT HIM TO BE AVAILABLE FOR ADOPTION VERY LONG because his medical conditions are correcting themselves and his emotional issues can be addressed by a family with no currently small children! We are going to advocate for him (and other children) to the best of our ability..although I am pretty sure he will have a family lined up for him before we even leave :)
Again, this was not an easy decision.....AS YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE! However, we know that in the end if we made the wrong decision...it would be US that would have to deal with it. The thoughts of knowingly make the decision to get two children who we can not give all that they need to (as far as emotionally and time-wise) would be selfish on our part! When Jason goes to work, it is me left to run the two offices and to care for the children so I KNOW that I cannot do it all by myself. This is not a case of just taking care of two kids. I have cared for multiple children at once before. THESE ARE SPECIAL NEEDS children who require MUCH MORE TIME AND ENERGY. We can provide all of he love and material things that any child would need but something we lack is TIME. If we chose to adopt both special needs children we would be neglecting the needs of one of them at nearly all times...WE WILL NOT DO THAT!
I hope everyone can understand the decision we have had to make and I pray that you will all keep the children in the orphanges here in your prayers!
THANKS SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ!
Jason & Sylvia
Don't think for a minute that we will hold it against you. More people should have so much thought into their children before they have them whether it be natural or thru adoption...God bless you Both! or should that be all three! Loni
ReplyDeleteThanks so much LONI!!!! I would hope and pray that people understand but to be honest if they don't I really don't care because I don't see them over here doing anything about it! This adoption is the hardest thing we have ever did and this decision was the hardest we will ever make! AGAIN...thanks so much for the comment! It means the world to us!
ReplyDeleteI commend you for what you guys are doing Sylvia. I'm sure that was not an easy decision to make but I too, feel as it was the right one. Gabby will be a very lucky girl to go home with such loving, wonderful and UNSELFISH parents. There are some kids that don't have either of those things, let alone all three. You are all in my thoughts in prayers & I hope to meet Gabby Middleton some day ; ) Have a great rest of the trip and be careful venturing home!
ReplyDeleteThanks Roni! To hear from people at home right now seriously makes me an emotional wreck because I miss home soooo badly! We still have so long before we get to come home and it sucks! Buttt...at least we get to spend time with Gabby here! Thanks for your support and prayers! I'm sure not everyone will agree with our decision but it wouldn't be the first time so oh well! AND YOU WILL MEET GABBY! I will let you know when the welcome home party/shower is :)
ReplyDeleteHi Sylvia and Jason, honey you have made the right decision. I commend you also, I know that children with special needs will take up a lot of time. I am sure as you are that gavin will have a safe, happy and loving home. Can't wait to meet Gabby. Honey you will be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteHey sweetie, I think u made the right decision, it is a hard decision to make, Having or adopting children shouldnt be taken lightly...It is a full time job, The main thing is, This is your and jasons life,and now little gabby's, Dont worry about anyone else and what they think, U all do what U think is right...U have a good visit over there, and safe trip home, God bless all of u, and Cant wait to meet little Gabby...She is such a cutie!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks you all! It helps knowing we have so much support back at home!
ReplyDelete